As a family of five, Samir and I are starting to do things differently. This year our annual holiday party was completed in a non-traditional format for us. Our traditional format has been to invite family, friends, employees, and business associates whose company we enjoy. This group was typically in the range of 50 - 75 people each year. Below is a contrast between the two. I am not sure which one I prefer but thought it was worth exercise of capturing the differences.
Our old format included a formal printed invitation, a valet to deal with the 25+ cars on our shared, narrow driveway, 5 - 7 appetizer dishes, 3 -5 entree dishes, and 5 - 7 dessert options (all prepared by us). It included a full bar including wines and craft beers. There was a ton of wasted alcohol and food at the end of every party. The party cost was well over a $1,000 all in. Some of the highlights was welcoming new friends to our home for the first time. Hoping around and trying to connect with 60 or so individuals in 5 minutes or less. Getting dolled up in some festive holiday swag. The drama of hosting that many people and trying to show everyone a good time was part of the appeal and positive stress. I also loved the feeling of having the1st floor completely jammed with people. I think the intrigue of this comes from a subconscious desire to mimic what a great party from high school-from college-from a movie looks like. Whenever I have attended parties where rooms are jammed with people I have not enjoyed them or remembered much due to the alcohol and general craziness. They definitely have not been with gourmet food or drink. The concept that we had so many people over while also trying to offer a full foodie experience is insane. Genuinely certifiable.
This year's party was almost a non-occurrence. In the fatigue of a working mother who is adjusting to having three girls, I asked to raise the white flag this year. My sister and my husband were both so sad that we wouldn't be able to maintain our holiday tradition. I considered another option of scaling it back. But could I? Scaling back is not something I have ever successfully done in my life. Instead of scaling back, I typically transfer that energy into something new and even more challenging. Leaving 60 - 70 hour work weeks at P&G turned into medical school for even more hours. 2 dogs turned to three dogs. Two kids turned to three kids once the first two became manageable at ages 5 and 7. I had to be very specific with myself on what a scaled back party could be. Truthfully, scaled back is probably not the correct term. Narrowed. Focused. A more intentional gathering focusing on quality. To incentivize myself to keep the number to 8 - 12 people over for an intimate dinner, I imagined one long table with all the guests seated together. Still the number for the party was 15 individuals. Instead of fancy, printed invites for $300 total, I splurged on a very elegant and experiential Evite from Paperless post for a cool $12 total. Time saved here was 5-6 hours. Then the food approached in a unique way. We committed to make everything from scratch. Eight separate dishes were prepared between the two of us and served hot and plated formally during the three courses. Suprisingly we were able to complete all the cooking in less then 5 hours. The 13 guests were all folks we care for deeply and easily so it was stressful. Below are some highlights.
1) Everyone at the party was involved in getting the appetizers out at some point in the early evening. The kitchen hummed with olive oil and so many hands.
2) A sweet and thoughtful toast from my husband.
3) Taking a few photos together.
4) Not even attempting to wear high heels.
5) Clean up help from Carrie, Kim, and a few others.
6) Actually being prepared when folks arrived.
7) Putting out all the yummy foods we had planned.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
A lost fish
Both of my big girls have transitioned to school this year better than ever. Annika has really enjoyed some of the new kids who have joined her class. Amara is surprisingly comfortable with being in kindergarten all day since it is the same teacher Annika had. However, the other day Amara said the cutest thing to me in the car on the way to school, "Mom, when you drop me off I feel like a fish. Like a fish in a big ocean who is lost." This made my heart warm and also feel heavy. Heavy for hearing the sadness in her voice. Warm from hearing her find her words and express them in such a poetic way. Or perhaps she has watched Finding Nemo recently and it is sitting in her subconscious. Regardless I was touched.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Holiday inspirations
I started writing in my "Dear Aria" letter this week and was hit with a fun inspiration that was relevant to all three girls so I thought it might be family blog appropriate. I was trying to describe to Aria how much I love her and how amazing she is and I realized she reminds me of Christmas. In the next breath I felt so clearly that Annika reminds me of Easter and Amara of Halloween. Below are a few words explaining why.
Aria is definitely Christmas because she exudes a very "Santa Claus" quality. Jolly, round, big happy cheeks, cheerful eyes that squint into rainbows when she smiles. She is an amalgamation of Christmas. The smell of gingerbread, the feel of squishy sherpa-lined fabrics, the shine of large, round, red ornaments, the sticky sweet of a candy cane, and oh the singing! She sings all day, every day. She sings when she is happy. She sings to get your attention. She sings to say thank you. She is a constant caroler.
Annika is my Easter. She a my bright-eyed, busy bunny always into crafts and cookies. Her mind is like a spool of many different ribbons, darting between bright polkadots and rainbow stripes. She feels like a new spring dress, still crisp and crinkly, as you walk through dewey grass on a cool, damp morning. She is Pastel. Vivid, enchanting, but always soft and forgiving. She is bouncy and swingy, with curls done up in ribbon. Annika is the early blue bird, out searching and planning while the rest of us still open our eyes. She sees the best in people and brings kindness to any situation.
Amara is Halloween. She is magic and sparkle, wonder and awe. She is a trick of the eye, a flick of the wrist and poof! A dark dragon turned into a shimmering fairy. She holds all of the rainbow set against a black velvet cloth. She is movement. The hunt, the game, the challenge, the sweet reward of a job well done. She is a sugar rush and yet also the tart of a green apple. Amara is the intensity of a fall day. She is the whoosh of back-to-school, wearing jeans and boots on a hayride, drinking cider into dark evenings. She is the heavy, deep sun against the shadow of curling, orange leaves. She is the the edge of your collar that feels the both the tingle of the cool breeze and the warmth of your sweatshirt. Amara is the contentment of the first bite of fresh, grilled corn - smokey, crispy-char ending in bursting sweetness.
Aria is definitely Christmas because she exudes a very "Santa Claus" quality. Jolly, round, big happy cheeks, cheerful eyes that squint into rainbows when she smiles. She is an amalgamation of Christmas. The smell of gingerbread, the feel of squishy sherpa-lined fabrics, the shine of large, round, red ornaments, the sticky sweet of a candy cane, and oh the singing! She sings all day, every day. She sings when she is happy. She sings to get your attention. She sings to say thank you. She is a constant caroler.
Annika is my Easter. She a my bright-eyed, busy bunny always into crafts and cookies. Her mind is like a spool of many different ribbons, darting between bright polkadots and rainbow stripes. She feels like a new spring dress, still crisp and crinkly, as you walk through dewey grass on a cool, damp morning. She is Pastel. Vivid, enchanting, but always soft and forgiving. She is bouncy and swingy, with curls done up in ribbon. Annika is the early blue bird, out searching and planning while the rest of us still open our eyes. She sees the best in people and brings kindness to any situation.
Amara is Halloween. She is magic and sparkle, wonder and awe. She is a trick of the eye, a flick of the wrist and poof! A dark dragon turned into a shimmering fairy. She holds all of the rainbow set against a black velvet cloth. She is movement. The hunt, the game, the challenge, the sweet reward of a job well done. She is a sugar rush and yet also the tart of a green apple. Amara is the intensity of a fall day. She is the whoosh of back-to-school, wearing jeans and boots on a hayride, drinking cider into dark evenings. She is the heavy, deep sun against the shadow of curling, orange leaves. She is the the edge of your collar that feels the both the tingle of the cool breeze and the warmth of your sweatshirt. Amara is the contentment of the first bite of fresh, grilled corn - smokey, crispy-char ending in bursting sweetness.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Pity Laugh
I have been swamped in the world of "Newborn Baby-dom". This is a world with no pauses or breaks and often a shower only ever two days (on a rare occasion three). I have not blogged much since becoming a mother to three on march 26, 2013 but yesterday's moment had to be captured.
Aria is a big giggler and a happy baby. She was giggling herself into hysteria over some funny face/sound effect that Samir was doing. After two minutes of Aria givign steady, out loud giggles, "hahahahaha...Aaaahhh hahahahaha" and a series of raspberries into the air, Samir suggested I try it. So I tried to make her giggle that hard as well. And I got a pity laugh from her. "Ha-ha". She said it but didn't even mean it! She may have even rolled her eyes a bit as she looked over to Samir for emotional validation that her Mom was a cuckoo. What a little bugger !?!
Aria is a big giggler and a happy baby. She was giggling herself into hysteria over some funny face/sound effect that Samir was doing. After two minutes of Aria givign steady, out loud giggles, "hahahahaha...Aaaahhh hahahahaha" and a series of raspberries into the air, Samir suggested I try it. So I tried to make her giggle that hard as well. And I got a pity laugh from her. "Ha-ha". She said it but didn't even mean it! She may have even rolled her eyes a bit as she looked over to Samir for emotional validation that her Mom was a cuckoo. What a little bugger !?!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
34 is old enough
Recently I told someone how I was looking forward to turning 40 because I have read that is when women finally get comfortable and confident with their true selves. This concept is mentioned many times in articles in Oprah, More, etc. Today I met a physician/professor who is the head of Family Med at UC. Talking to her and realizing that I would have graduated two weeks ago as an MD if I had stayed in medical school made me reflect upon what all has transposed in the past 4 years...
I turned 30 right before entering UCMed. It started on August 15 2009. Getting into the only medical school I applied to and on my first attempt lit within me a sense of Faith.
Samir's mom had passed away a few months before in February 2009. The shock of losing her and watching Dad fall apart and then rebuild himself taught me Humbleness.
Dropping out of medical school in my first year was devastating and threw me into a whirlwind of questioning my career and greater purpose. Reality bit me truly when I was forced to accept my Limits. I am not the superwoman I dreamed I could be.
The chaos of next few months landed me assisting Samir with our business. The first six months were grueling for both of us as we forged together our skills and strengths in the world of business. It was almost as painful as combining into a family from individuals after a marriage. 2010 was a year of Compromise.
Compromise is best pursued when their is Balance and becoming a yoga teacher was the best single investment I have ever done for myself. The daily grounding of meditation and spiritual study helped me feel how to exist with Balance for the first time ever.
Building the steam into our business' engine and raising our cute toddlers into sweet girls both took the same skill of Fortitude.
Watching Samir's dad remarry triggered Samir to finally deal with the loss of his mother. This brought about a very difficult time in our lives which taught both of us Acceptance. Acceptance of what we cannot control.
Connecting with the vision of a third child and deciding to try expanding our family and responsibilities took great Courage.
It has been an eventful four years to say the least. I did not get my MD but I did complete a new bachelors degree in life experiences with the forever gifts of Faith, Humbleness, Limits, Compromise, Balance, Fortitude, Acceptance, and Courage.
Currently, my mindspace is preoccupied with Hope. I hope to be a good and present mother to my three daughters. I hope to invest in and enjoy my marriage. I hope to get back to my previous level of fitness and leaner physique. I hope to work in a business area that rewards and responds to my creativity and passion. I hope to write a book, or two. I hope to consult back to improve medical care and patient communication. I hope to launch my own business that entices patients into a higher level of self care. But I don't want to just hope. And I don't want to wait until I am 40 to act with conviction. I give myself a Mantra as a gift on my 34th birthday - "just do it". Perhaps it will turn into the habit of Completion. There is an emptiness is this area, that is except in the realm of my own family. 5 is Complete. : )
I turned 30 right before entering UCMed. It started on August 15 2009. Getting into the only medical school I applied to and on my first attempt lit within me a sense of Faith.
Samir's mom had passed away a few months before in February 2009. The shock of losing her and watching Dad fall apart and then rebuild himself taught me Humbleness.
Dropping out of medical school in my first year was devastating and threw me into a whirlwind of questioning my career and greater purpose. Reality bit me truly when I was forced to accept my Limits. I am not the superwoman I dreamed I could be.
The chaos of next few months landed me assisting Samir with our business. The first six months were grueling for both of us as we forged together our skills and strengths in the world of business. It was almost as painful as combining into a family from individuals after a marriage. 2010 was a year of Compromise.
Compromise is best pursued when their is Balance and becoming a yoga teacher was the best single investment I have ever done for myself. The daily grounding of meditation and spiritual study helped me feel how to exist with Balance for the first time ever.
Building the steam into our business' engine and raising our cute toddlers into sweet girls both took the same skill of Fortitude.
Watching Samir's dad remarry triggered Samir to finally deal with the loss of his mother. This brought about a very difficult time in our lives which taught both of us Acceptance. Acceptance of what we cannot control.
Connecting with the vision of a third child and deciding to try expanding our family and responsibilities took great Courage.
It has been an eventful four years to say the least. I did not get my MD but I did complete a new bachelors degree in life experiences with the forever gifts of Faith, Humbleness, Limits, Compromise, Balance, Fortitude, Acceptance, and Courage.
Currently, my mindspace is preoccupied with Hope. I hope to be a good and present mother to my three daughters. I hope to invest in and enjoy my marriage. I hope to get back to my previous level of fitness and leaner physique. I hope to work in a business area that rewards and responds to my creativity and passion. I hope to write a book, or two. I hope to consult back to improve medical care and patient communication. I hope to launch my own business that entices patients into a higher level of self care. But I don't want to just hope. And I don't want to wait until I am 40 to act with conviction. I give myself a Mantra as a gift on my 34th birthday - "just do it". Perhaps it will turn into the habit of Completion. There is an emptiness is this area, that is except in the realm of my own family. 5 is Complete. : )
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Aria - 8 weeks old
Aria is already waking up for the third time since 1am but I wanted to quickly jot down a few special things about her at this sweet squishy age of 8 weeks old.
Her cry - Aria is rarely in a rage. She typically builds into a cry from small squeaks and "ahs" and "hu-uhs". She calms down as soon as she hears a voice.
Snuggling - She loves to be snuggled and held close. If she is in someone's arms she is content 99% of the time. She has started rubbing her nose and face into my shoulder when she is super tired or wants to get out a burp. When her head is in the crook of my neck, my cheek to her forehead, she is so soft and quiet. She falls asleep like this almost purring with a snortled breath. Recently I have started rubbing her soft, silky baby hair with my fingers.
Falling asleep - Once she is fed, burped, done being awake, she falls asleep on my should within 5 minutes. These days she prefers to fall asleep vertically and does not like being swaddled but does like have a blanket near her face and head. She also likes her feet covered in a blanket ideally when she is falling asleep.
Her Eyes - She has so many different eye expressions. Her morning eyes are bright and alert. Round, big, happy. Her eyes look more like mine and annikas then amara's to me. When she is tired, I call her eyes, "Zombie eyes". They are fixed on a gaze but not focused on anything. Within 2 - 3 minutes of Zombie eyes she is asleep.
Her Smile - She loves to coo and smile and us. She loves her Lion King painting, her play mat, staring at me, my mom, Samir, Kim, but most of all her sisters. Anni and Amara amaze her.
Her cry - Aria is rarely in a rage. She typically builds into a cry from small squeaks and "ahs" and "hu-uhs". She calms down as soon as she hears a voice.
Snuggling - She loves to be snuggled and held close. If she is in someone's arms she is content 99% of the time. She has started rubbing her nose and face into my shoulder when she is super tired or wants to get out a burp. When her head is in the crook of my neck, my cheek to her forehead, she is so soft and quiet. She falls asleep like this almost purring with a snortled breath. Recently I have started rubbing her soft, silky baby hair with my fingers.
Falling asleep - Once she is fed, burped, done being awake, she falls asleep on my should within 5 minutes. These days she prefers to fall asleep vertically and does not like being swaddled but does like have a blanket near her face and head. She also likes her feet covered in a blanket ideally when she is falling asleep.
Her Eyes - She has so many different eye expressions. Her morning eyes are bright and alert. Round, big, happy. Her eyes look more like mine and annikas then amara's to me. When she is tired, I call her eyes, "Zombie eyes". They are fixed on a gaze but not focused on anything. Within 2 - 3 minutes of Zombie eyes she is asleep.
Her Smile - She loves to coo and smile and us. She loves her Lion King painting, her play mat, staring at me, my mom, Samir, Kim, but most of all her sisters. Anni and Amara amaze her.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mothers Day 2013
Samir pointed out this morning that today is my sixth Mother's Day. What an odd feeling. I could not believe I have only six. It seems so much longer. I counted the years and he was correct. We have been together almost 13 years and 6 of them as parents. How funny life and time are. In the rear view mirror, things are closer than they appear.
What a glorious morning I had. After 40 days of sleeping an average of 4 - 5 hours, I had the luxury of sleeping from 11 - 5 and then again from 7 - 9. My brain is rushing around thinking of all the projects and moments I want to tackle with this new energy. Of course, the smarter thing to do with my time is write and go for a walk. Nothing recharges me more then these two. In fact, going for a walk in Glenwood Gardens was all I asked for Mothers Day. Thankfully, God has blessed us with a sunny and cool day. Perfect for walking : )
I did receive several wonderful gifts though. I loved the gift from Samir - an upstairs water cooler with delicious water in a five gallon jug. It can even be heated for instant tea water. And I also loved the gift from my girls (really equally from Kim) of a beautiful, thoughtful, and brightly colored book they wrote and illustrated called, "If you were..." where I am depicted as many sweet animals and how they would see me. Two beautiful cards and breakfast of tea, raspberries, and marmalade toast was icing on the cake. A myriad of texts from friends and family "Mothers" are the sprinkles.
Annika could not stop saying, "happy mother's day!". Amara kept saying, "I don't want any arguing on Mothers Day, everyone must listen to Mom." Even Aria cooed some delightful happy sounds at me. She is just up from a nice 90 minute nap, so off I go to nurse her and then give her a warm bath with hopes of her taking another calm nap from 3 - 5:30.
Thank you God, Family, and forces of nature for such a blessed day. I feel much appreciated.
What a glorious morning I had. After 40 days of sleeping an average of 4 - 5 hours, I had the luxury of sleeping from 11 - 5 and then again from 7 - 9. My brain is rushing around thinking of all the projects and moments I want to tackle with this new energy. Of course, the smarter thing to do with my time is write and go for a walk. Nothing recharges me more then these two. In fact, going for a walk in Glenwood Gardens was all I asked for Mothers Day. Thankfully, God has blessed us with a sunny and cool day. Perfect for walking : )
I did receive several wonderful gifts though. I loved the gift from Samir - an upstairs water cooler with delicious water in a five gallon jug. It can even be heated for instant tea water. And I also loved the gift from my girls (really equally from Kim) of a beautiful, thoughtful, and brightly colored book they wrote and illustrated called, "If you were..." where I am depicted as many sweet animals and how they would see me. Two beautiful cards and breakfast of tea, raspberries, and marmalade toast was icing on the cake. A myriad of texts from friends and family "Mothers" are the sprinkles.
Annika could not stop saying, "happy mother's day!". Amara kept saying, "I don't want any arguing on Mothers Day, everyone must listen to Mom." Even Aria cooed some delightful happy sounds at me. She is just up from a nice 90 minute nap, so off I go to nurse her and then give her a warm bath with hopes of her taking another calm nap from 3 - 5:30.
Thank you God, Family, and forces of nature for such a blessed day. I feel much appreciated.
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