34 is old enough

Recently I told someone how I was looking forward to turning 40 because I have read that is when women finally get comfortable and confident with their true selves.   This concept is mentioned many times in articles in Oprah, More, etc.  Today I met a physician/professor who is the head of Family Med at UC.  Talking to her and realizing that I would have graduated two weeks ago as an MD if I had stayed in medical school made me reflect upon what all has transposed in the past 4 years...

I turned 30 right before entering UCMed.  It started on August 15 2009.  Getting into the only medical school I applied to and on my first attempt lit within me a sense of Faith.

Samir's mom had passed away a few months before in February 2009.  The shock of losing her and watching Dad fall apart and then rebuild himself taught me Humbleness.

Dropping out of medical school in my first year was devastating and threw me into a whirlwind of questioning my career and greater purpose.   Reality bit me truly when I was forced to accept my Limits.  I am not the superwoman I dreamed I could be.

The chaos of next few months landed me assisting Samir with our business.  The first six months were grueling for both of us as we forged together our skills and strengths in the world of business.  It was almost as painful as combining into a family from individuals after a marriage.  2010 was a year of Compromise.

Compromise is best pursued when their is Balance and becoming a yoga teacher was the best single investment I have ever done for myself.  The daily grounding of meditation and spiritual study helped me feel how to exist with Balance for the first time ever. 

Building the steam into our business' engine and raising our cute toddlers into sweet girls both took the same skill of Fortitude.

Watching Samir's dad remarry triggered Samir to finally deal with the loss of his mother. This brought about a very difficult time in our lives which taught both of us Acceptance.  Acceptance of what we cannot control.

Connecting with the vision of a third child and deciding to try expanding our family and responsibilities took great Courage.  

It has been an eventful four years to say the least.   I did not get my MD but I did complete a new bachelors degree in life experiences with the forever gifts of Faith, Humbleness, Limits, Compromise, Balance, Fortitude, Acceptance, and Courage. 

Currently, my mindspace is preoccupied with Hope.    I hope to be a good and present mother to my three daughters.  I hope to invest in and enjoy my marriage. I hope to get back to my previous level of fitness and leaner physique.  I hope to work in a business area that rewards and responds to my creativity and passion.  I hope to write a book, or two.  I hope to consult back to improve medical care and patient communication. I hope to launch my own business that entices patients into a higher level of self care.   But I don't want to just hope.  And I don't want to wait until I am 40 to act with conviction.  I give myself a Mantra as a gift on my 34th birthday - "just do it".  Perhaps it will turn into the habit of Completion.   There is an emptiness is this area, that is except in the realm of my own family.  5 is Complete. : )