The benefits of a small holiday gathering

As a family of five, Samir and I are starting to do things differently.   This year our annual holiday party was completed in a non-traditional format for us.  Our traditional format has been to invite family, friends, employees, and business associates whose company we enjoy.  This group was typically in the range of 50 - 75 people each year.   Below is a contrast between the two.  I am not sure which one I prefer but thought it was worth exercise of capturing the differences. 

Our old format included a formal printed invitation,  a valet to deal with the 25+ cars on our shared, narrow driveway,  5 - 7 appetizer dishes, 3 -5 entree dishes, and 5 - 7 dessert options (all prepared by us).   It included a full bar including wines and craft beers.  There was a ton of wasted alcohol and food at the end of every party.  The party cost was well over a $1,000 all in.   Some of the highlights was welcoming new friends to our home for the first time.  Hoping around and trying to connect with 60 or so individuals in 5 minutes or less.  Getting dolled up in some festive holiday swag.  The drama of hosting that many people and trying to show everyone a good time was part of the appeal and positive stress.  I also loved the feeling of having the1st floor completely jammed with people.  I think the intrigue of this comes from a subconscious desire to mimic what a great party from high school-from college-from a movie looks like.  Whenever I have attended parties where rooms are jammed with people I have not enjoyed them or remembered much due to the alcohol and general craziness.  They definitely have not been with gourmet food or drink.  The concept that we had so many people over while also trying to offer a full foodie experience is insane.  Genuinely certifiable.

This year's party was almost a non-occurrence.  In the fatigue of a working mother who is adjusting to having three girls, I asked to raise the white flag this year.  My sister and my husband were both so sad that we wouldn't be able to maintain our holiday tradition.   I considered another option of scaling it back.  But could I?  Scaling back is not something I have ever successfully done in my life.  Instead of scaling back, I typically transfer that energy into something new and even more challenging.  Leaving 60 - 70 hour work weeks at P&G turned into medical school for even more hours.  2 dogs turned to three dogs.  Two kids turned to three kids once the first two became manageable at ages 5 and 7.   I had to be very specific with myself on what a scaled back party could be.   Truthfully, scaled back is probably not the correct term.  Narrowed.  Focused.   A more intentional gathering focusing on quality.  To incentivize myself to keep the number to 8 - 12 people over for an intimate dinner, I imagined one long table with all the guests seated together.  Still the number for the party was 15 individuals.   Instead of fancy, printed invites for $300 total, I splurged on a very elegant and experiential Evite from Paperless post for a cool $12 total.    Time saved here was 5-6 hours.   Then the food approached in a unique way.  We committed to make everything from scratch.   Eight separate dishes were  prepared between the two of us and served hot and plated formally during the three courses.   Suprisingly we were able to complete all the cooking in less then 5 hours.    The 13 guests were all folks we care for deeply and easily so it was stressful.  Below are some highlights. 

1) Everyone at the party was involved in getting the appetizers out at some point in the early evening.  The kitchen hummed with olive oil and so many hands. 
2) A sweet and thoughtful toast from my husband.
3) Taking a few photos together.
4) Not even attempting to wear high heels.
5) Clean up help from Carrie, Kim, and a few others.
6) Actually being prepared when folks arrived.
7) Putting out all the yummy foods we had planned.