Up while the house sleeps

I had the blessing this morning to get out of bed while there is still night quiet going on.   Night quiet is magical to me.  I am up, in my own space, when no one else needs me, is thinking about me, or knows where I am.   Even when I was younger and I would sneak out with friends at night, it was often more about the being up in the late night or early morning that was the exciting part not actually whatever we were trying to do. 

Night quiet is even more alluring now because of the teetering moments that are waiting in the balance.  Any moment one of the dogs might start whining.  Or one of my daughters might open her door and come find me.  But for now, I was able to get out of my room with my computer and start writing at 5am!

I don't know why I don't do this more often.  It is so soothing.  I am up so often around 5am to use the restroom (or blow my nose since I am pregnant).   The writing is what wooed me this morning so I must have something to create.

tummies have a mind of their own

Yesterday morning I was dousing Annika with her now usual routine of cortizone plus aquaphor before getting dressed (treating her eczema) when her tummy started to rumble loudly. 
I asked her, "Do you have to go potty?".  
She responded confidently, "Nope.  That is just my belly.  He says he is ready for breakfast". 
I commented, "Oh,  I didn't realize your tummy was a He." 
Annika says, "Oh yes.  My tummy is a he, but Amara's is definitely a girl."    : )

Final leg of the Mondo-cation: Jersey, Baby!

The girls were very sad to leave Manhattan.  Amara was particularly sad to leave our hotel room and Annika was sad to leave all of the excitement and fun.  However, just beyond the New Jersey turnpike our extended family on the Acharya side was slowly gathering from across the country.  Throughout the weekend we had various siblings and cousins make the trek to Somerset, NJ.   The longest travelers were the family members from Columbus, Montana (population 2,500) unless you count my uncle who joined in from Bangalore, India via both the Skype Video Monitor and Phone.  We literally were able to place him a chair while everyone came to talk him for about an hour.  Technology has come so far.   Just 15 years ago my mom only spoke to her mother and siblings once a month because the cost was too high around several dollars/minute to talk.  Now, you can talk to India unlimited for $40 dollars a month.  $40 was the price of one 20 minute phone call before.  So now, my mother not only gets to talk her family, she actually keeps up with what they eat and wear each day if they have time to update each other.   : )

I digressed from the reunion.  It was the usual blast with laughs and three generations of family all getting together under one roof.   Most of us Gen2ers stayed at a nearby hotel (Amara was thrilled again) and we all comingled at lunch and dinner.  It is amazing that we have not only been getting together at differing spots for the past eight years, but that in between these bi-annual reunions, we all still find time to see each other in smaller groups.

The first reunion happened after my uncle passed away.  He was the patriarch of the family and had most of us come through his home in Buffalo, NY.  He was basically Ellis Island and his wife was Lady Liberty holding the torch of welcoming the newest family members.   The love they both openly gave to all of their siblings and the food, shelter, clothing, and physical support literally built a web that connects even the third generation.  Buffalo is still a key gathering place and a gate to many happy memories for all of us who have called it home at some point.  Thanks Arun Mama, Harsha Mami, Minu, and Namita, for never turning us away.   You gave up your privacy, normalcy, and independent lives but for that price you built an army of people who would do anything for you. 

NYC with the girls

This post will be about capturing our 3 days in Manhattan.  A key element of the Mondocation's success was to spend Tuesday evening through Friday afternoon in NYC with the girls.   Samir had grand plans of walking the streets and taking in the "energy of the city" with them but just 5 minutes into the "energy" both girls said they wanted to go home.  As all good parents who are faced with a botched plan do, we had swiftly change our course.   Initially we were planning MOMA and Little Italy and Soho and 5th Avenue, to be able to share some of our favorite parts of the City with our daughters but we had to settle for a hybrid of a Disney Adventure with NYC.  In the end, our trip was fantastic and I highly recommend something similar to any parent who wants to expose their kid to big city life on a smooth and happy route.

1) Stay in Hell's Kitchen.   Ideally Ink48.   An ideal boutique hotel that is pet friendly (i.e. free kid entertainment in the lobby), has sizable rooms, and is consistently clean/comfortable.  You get amazing restaurants within 2 blocks of your hotel.  Definitely go to Je&Jo's ice cream and coffee as well as the Sullivan Street Bakery for their famous bread/pastries/pizza.   Ink48 which was incredibly accommodating to our girls, had fantastic staff, and we had a fabulous king room with room for air mattresses with luxury bedding provided by the hotel for the girls.   The best part was the girl took a bath in the HUGE granite edged tub.  Amara said her very favorite thing about New York was taking a bath in the main part of the room while looking at the city light and watching TV.

2) Let your kids no ahead of time that most of the city streets, especially Times Square, is uber crowded but very safe.  We forgot to warn them and did not pack a stroller.  They were in tears about two hours in from the shock and chaos.   They got over it but still much preferred cab rides to walking busy streets. I had no idea that Times Square is so kid friendly.  Street Performers. M&M world (Annika's favorite memory of New York as told to Samir's Dad).  A humungo two story Disney Store.

3) Take in part of each day in a non-crowded area.   Our first day we did not do this and it was a mistake.  On day two, we meandered through the Central Park Zoo which had many beautiful exhibits and architectural features but the best one by far was the 27 year old Polar Bear who was doing laps in his pool.  We all LOVED the polar bear.  He swam with immense power and grace and had these huge paws that looked both incredibly snuggly and deadly at the same time.   The opposing qualities of him were what I found the most fascinating.  Actually ended up bringing a stuffed version home.   On day three, we spent 3 hours in Central Park.  The $90 1 hour carriage ride is completely worth it because your driver gives you all this great history of the park and its monuments and you get to take in the view with a breeze while your kids feel they are riding in Cinderalla's coach.  Our also told us where the best restrooms were which was worth $10 for that info alone.    There are great artists doing face paint, glitter tattoos, sketches around the park.  Annika got a tri-colored glitter dove on her arm and Amara got a tri-colored glitter penguin from a beautiful, strong, kind Croatian woman who got her Professional Make-Up License from Milan.  Or at least that was her story.  I believe her and was completely absorbed into the beauty of her glitter-filled make up box and the stories she told her in lilting voice about the past 13 years she has been working in Central Park. 

4)  See a Broadway Musical or some version of performance.   There is a reason the best performers live in New York.  We saw Mary Poppins with Bert played by the original actor from England's West End and the Mary from the original Broadway in the US.  Both of them exuded a magic that fit each role perfectly.  I was literally brought to tears of joy multiple times during the musical.  My soul was happy and stretched in a way that only art can stretch you. 

5) All kids will love the Natural History Museum.  It was only open from 10 - 5 and we didn't go in until 1:30pm and the 4 hours we spent their flew by.  The girls loved exploring the Baoboa tree in the Discovery Center and I loved the Bioluminescent exhibit which was set to look like a summer evening after dark that explained how and why Fireflies glow.  Samir loves the HUGE dinosaur skeletons in the entry way.   A small perk and strong recommendation.  They will give a wheelchair to you to haul your exhausted kids in.   The museum is miles and miles inside so it makes sense to either bring a stroller or borrow a wheelchair.  They have plenty.   Also, avoid the large gangs of kids in matching T-shirts on a field trip. 


At the end of three days in Manhattan by girls are both much more savvy about crossing streets, how to talk to strangers, how to handle yourself in a crowd, how to appreciate great street food,  understanding how city life is home to many different socio-economic types of people, how NYC is a melting pot of cultures, different types of architecture,  how the Statue of Liberty stands for Freedom, how to use a knife and fork and take bread and water in a fancy restaurant, and of course, how fun boutique hotels can be.   Best quotes below:

Annika inside the Plaza Hotel,  "Yes, I think this is where I will get married.  This is a great place to have a wedding." 

Amara upon entering our hotel room at Ink48, "This is New York?  I love New York!  I never ever want to leave New York!" 

Samir after walking with the girls for 10 blocks in New York's busy streets on Day one, "Maybe my plan of sharing my favorite parts of New York with the girls is not going to work".

Me after 3 days of being there, "Samir, I am so glad you pushed us to do this.  It was an amazing family trip we will all remember". 

Samir is cookie monster so I guess that makes me the weird Elmo

I finally updated the picture on this blog after....wait for it... after... after... 5 years!  Some people don't even stay married as long as this blog has been without an appropriate photo.   I have been looking for a picture from our digital camera that has all four of us making decent faces.  However, as the new photo of the girls in Times Square shows, after 6 years of having children, I still don't have a decent digital photo on one of our cameras of the four us.  I have many beautiful photos of all of us, but somehow never on our camera.   So I ended up posting this photo with fake Elmo (F-Elmo per Samir) and fake Cookie Moster (Fookie Monster).  Annika begged us to take this picture with the nice men in the monster suits. After walking 2 miles in NYC busy streets with nothing fun or kid-like around she was thrilled to see these Sesame Street Monsters.   

I never meant for this photo to look like a real family photo but it somehow fits the title of "Kulkarni Family".   Samir swiftly stated that he was Fookie Monster so I guess that leaves me to be the weird-faced Felmo.  I can live with that.  At least there is a picture of the four of us after all these years.

Uh..hello? Its 2012 Ami

Apparently July and August are the only times of the year where I make time to post on this blog.  One of my new goals is to really appreciate the space this blog gives me.  The space to document.  The space to create.  The space to enjoy and relish the daily pleasures of life.   I don't know how many times I have written that I want to write more but this time is different because I NEED to write more.  I feel that I need to write the same way I need to run.  It is gutterral and as necessary as food and light and water and love. 

We just returned from our second Mondo-cation (a term Samir coined so eloquently) and this time it was a success!  We drove from Cincinnati to Bethesda, MD to visit one of my very best friends then to NYC to experience Manhattan in some of our favorite ways then to a huge family reunion on my mother's side in New Jersey.   We drove a total of about 30 hours during the trip but truly enjoyed most of the driving part.   I will try and write a bit about each part of our trip this week.  Today I will go in depth about our stay near DC.

In Bethesda, we stayed with my friend Nutan and her husband and two kids and two dogs and had the most amazing time.   We even got to meet and hang out with her kids Nanny, Pam.   Staying in their home for four nights/day gave me a chance to appreciate my friend in a completely new way.  I found myself amazed at her efficiency, simpleness, ability to prioritize joy, and how she made time for others and found balance in the fullness of her life.  I still don't know how she balances her challenging career as a CFO for the government with raising her two young sons and being a fun wife, friend, sister, daughter but somehow she does.

Below are the secrets I learned from staying with her that I hope to embrace more:

1) Make time for fun - Each day she makes sure there is something that both she and her boys enjoy in her days with them.  She also enjoys a glass of wine each night and relishes her morning coffee.  She gets dressed fast so she has more time to enjoy whatever she is doing.  She walks with confidence and joy and loves her husband and kids with vigor. 

2) Don't lose energy on necessary responsibilities - whether it is walking her dogs or watering her lawn or getting dinner ready, she easily moves from task to task without much rework or doubt.  She is swift, like a little fairy, moving with ease.

3) Keep your home life simple - she does not overcomplicate her pantry or closets with things she might need.  She keeps the basics and does not stress about whether she is prepared or not.   For example, she has about 8 coffee cups in her life, 3 of which mean something to her.  I have about 30 coffee/tea cups and only two of them mean something to me.  I like her ratio better.

4) Prioritize what is needed right now-  She does not apologize for wanting to take a nap or needing a snack or getting frustrated.  She is present to her own needs which makes her so much more aware of the moment. She also doesn't waste time on what she might need later.  Later is later.  Now is now.  Figure out now, now.   I spend so much time thinking about whats next I often lose sight of what is right now. 

Thank you Nutan for being my Best-y for the past 20+ years.  You always seem to bring out the best in me and now we can even share our families in the joy of our giggling friendship. 

"Can we go eat at a restaurant with chopsticks?"

Amara found some disposable chopsticks somewhere in the house on Sunday and has been asking when we can go to a "Japanese sit on the floor" restaurant. On Tuesday we decided to have a family dinner out at take the girls to their first Thai restaurant. At least this would be there first time actually eating there. They have been several times as babies and toddlers but not eaten anything more than perhaps some sticky white rice. This time both girls ordered their own dinner. Annika wanted chicken. When there was not chicken nuggets, she decided to order just chicken. It came steamed. White, paste-y, limp looking dead chicken flesh sitting in a bowl. I thought for sure she would be grossed out. But she was starving and excited about chicken.. she ate it plain! Then she tried dipping it in soy sauce and mild peanut sauce to her delight. She muddled through some pineapple fried rice but mostly ate chicken. Samir did his best to help her with chopsticks but she was not really interested. Her best comment of the night was, "Dad, how can you eat octopus? That is so gross". I answered with but Annika you eat fish and chicken? Her answer, "But that is because I like to eat it and it tastes yummy".

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Amara decided to teach herself how to use chopsticks. We look over and there is Amara with a piece of baby corn in her chopsticks chomping down. This was her second feat. The first was when Samir's seaweed salad came and she took a huge chuck and starting eating the seaweed with her fingers like spagetti. She picked up a few different ones slightly confused and kept asking, "I can eat this? Is this a plant? ". She was mesmerized with Samir's fish sushi and even decided to take a bite of raw salmon and tuna. "Its so pretty and looks yummy". She was not that happy with taste though. She ploughed through several of my veggie sushi rolls and loved eating the "wrapper" by dipping it in soy sauce.

In the end everyone was happy and tired after a great evening of laughing and appreciating a new cuisine palatte for the girls. Perhaps next time it will be Korean. Be Bhim Bop - Here we come!